I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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