We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
