Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
