so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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