I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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