apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize