My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
