Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
