You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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