i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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