I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
