why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize