My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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