Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize