Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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