and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
