You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
