Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
