i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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