loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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