and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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