Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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