Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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