Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
