OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
