I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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