i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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