I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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