Whod you bang
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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