Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
