Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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