last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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