i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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