She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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