i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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