Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's shark week go big or go home
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
