Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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