I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
