Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
