their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
