Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize