Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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