just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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