ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
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i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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