Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
