You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
