are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
ttyl tear gas
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
