I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
