This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
