Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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