Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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