I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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