Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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