I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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